


Monochromatic Fears

by goldfusion



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Colors, Coming of Age, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Levi - Freeform, Light Angst, One Shot, Romance, Titan Shifters, War, titan boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-22 01:30:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10686984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldfusion/pseuds/goldfusion
Summary: Tell me a love story in technicolor.





	Monochromatic Fears

**Mint Green**

The apology muttered under your breath was barely released when the taller boy replied with a “don’t worry about it”. You looked up at the man you had quite literally ran into, his fierce eyes were adorn with a ghost of a smile. Your clumsiness was only enhanced by your nerves first day on the base as a new recruit. The boy put his hands on your shoulders and moved you aside before hastily hurrying his way. 

“That’s Eren Jaeger,” the girl you had acquainted yourself with informed you, “he’s the titan shifter in Captain Levi’s squad.”

You nodded in acknowledgement, ignoring the butterflies and sprouting emotions inside. 

 

**Lime**

Army food had a reputation for its savoury taste of card-board, but for the tired recruits who came from families of poverty, it was more than a blessing. When you both reached for the last piece of sour mush disguised as key lime pie, your hand grazed his and your eyes met. 

“Take it,” he said, the faint smile once again haunting his visage, “I know a thing or two about basic training. It’s tough”, before turning on his heel.

In your disparate attempt to leave some sort of impression for the man who had definitely made an imprint in your mind, you blurted out a loud “thank you!”, turning the heads of all the soldiers around you. You blushed, but much to your delight, he turned and gave you a hearty laugh. 

 

**Celadon**

A pale, dull green. Jealousy.

You found your eyes making rounds across the training fields, horse stables, cafeteria, always in search of that certain brunet, but when your gaze finally landed on that head of brown hair, weaving in just the right directions, he was always accompanied by a girl of equal height, straight black hair, red scarf. 

Who was she? You went out of your way to investigate, but what you could not observe your filled in with your imagination.

Maybe they’re dating … But they’re technically siblings, that’s gross…I bet she has a crush on him…just because she’s good on the maneuver gear doesn’t mean she’ll be a good girlfriend…Even if she’s pretty…maybe she’s a complete snob…

Until, during the busy dinner hours in the dining hall, your thoughts betrayed you and you found yourself staring for way longer than acceptable. Much to your horror, surprise, and delight, Eren had gathered his tray and was heading towards your table. You dropped the spoon you were holding into the soup bowl, spattering the creamy liquid all over your uniform.

When he sat down across from you, he laughed at your clumsiness as you hastily tried to wipe away the stains with your napkin, only to smear it further. He jokingly gave you advice on table manners and how to laundry the uniform.

“I saw you looking at me,” he said forwardly, once again throwing you off.

You felt all the blood rush up to your head. How were you going to explain that you were simply admiring his glorious existence in the least innocent way possible whilst imagining a future where you were happily married? 

“Did you need something?” He said, focusing on his dinner. He stirred his steaming soup with the metal spoon, every move more graceful than yours. 

“Uh, well,” your superego was kicking and swearing at you, “I just…thought the girl you were with was very pretty”. Way to lure yourself into enemy territory. 

Eren turned to Mikasa’s direction, then back to look at you, a smirk evident on his features. “So you were looking at her, not me?”

Well of course not, that woman deserved not the least bit of your attention away from your precious titan boy, but you nodded in agreement. Oh what hell you guarded with your lips.

“She’s my sister,” he explained, “-adoptive sister”.

“I know,” you replied, grinning. Did that mean he only saw her as a sister?

“How did you know?” Eren cocked his head to one side.

Your blush intensified. Your superego was screaming at this point. “I just…” you scratched your head and laughed awkwardly, “heard from the other recruits…” 

 

**Emerald**

Someone spread a rumour that you had a crush on Eren Jaeger. This might have been the end of the world. 

You first grew aware of this rumour, which wasn’t actually a rumour because it was true, when you sat in the dining hall at breakfast. One of the boys approached you with a smug look, to which you responded with a confused frown, that is, until he said, “I heard you had a crush on Eren Jaeger from Captain Levi’s squad”.

This was the single moment the sky collapsed. From then on the teasing never ceased.

“What is it about him that you like? His temperament?”  
“Aren’t you scared that he’ll accidentally turn into a titan when you get him in bed?”  
“I thought titans don’t have dicks,”  
“You’ll never be able to dirty talk cause Levi will be on that shit with a mop so fast –”  
“You won’t have to worry about heating in the winter, just cuddle up next to him in titan form,”

To all of which you could only respond with “I don’t like him!” with an irrepressible blush, the latter making the former rather unconvincing.

It came down to one early morning in April. You had purposefully been waking up early for breakfast in order to avoid the teasing crowd, and namely, to avoid Eren. The cafeteria at exactly five in the morning was pretty much empty, like it always had been. You took a deep breath and stepped past the wooden door frame, but a force pulled you from behind and dragged you out of the dining hall and up against the rough brick wall outside. You blinked to focus.

There he was. Your fantasy and your nightmare. 

You heart began pounding audibly.

“Have you been avoiding me?” was the question Eren spat at you. His face seemed indifferent.

His presence loomed over yours. “Yes,” you shakily reply, too shy and too afraid to lie.

“Why?” Perhaps this was the fierce and intense Eren Jaeger everyone was talking about. 

You desperately averted your eyes, but you could feel him gawking. You heard him take a deep breath. He took a step back, giving you the space you much needed. You took the chance to adjusted your stance and crossed your arms in front of your chest.

“I’m not trying to intimidate you,” he said, sounding more relaxed. He waited for you to reply, but you kept your gaze wondering somewhere in the distant horizon, not turning to face him. The blush across your face must have been radiating.

“(y/n),” he cooed. The call almost startled you. You didn’t know he knew your name. “Look at me,” he said in a low voice. It was almost calming to your anxious heartbeat. 

“Look at me.”

You obeyed. He looked a little tired, his hair messier than usual. Perhaps he was not used to waking up this early. His lips were pressed into a thin line, but unlike his usual self, his eyes were soft. His cheeks might have been a little pink, but you were too preoccupied to really notice.

He swallowed and took in a big breath of air,

“Are the rumour true?”

 

**Teal**

What did love feel like? Frankly, you didn’t know. This was your first experience at this mysterious, romanticized abstract entity, but you were pretty sure this was what it was supposed to feel like.

Teal was the colour of cold crisp lake water on days you escaped from training to find within yourselves the children of nature. 

Teal was the colour of tranquility, of interlocked fingers and the smell of grass four in the morning.

Teal was the colour of silence, the nights after expeditions when you laid together and pondered upon questions of purpose, like how souls lost were subjected to an eternity of searching for enlightenment. 

Teal was the colour of his eyes, of the realization that the intensity of his gaze was meant to and always will be there. Eren was impulse, anger, and passion. You either feared it or loved it and you found yourself to be a little bit of both. 

 

**Hunter Green**

This was the first time you saw him in titan form up close. When the squadrons ahead were wiped out by an abnormal he didn’t hesitate the slightest before biting down on his own flesh. His eyes had a steely glitter cold and sharp like you had never seen before. 

When the fight was over and thankfully, he was back in one piece, Captain Levi scolded him for being impulsive and completely braking formation. Eren did not seem apologetic or remorseful in the slightest. It wasn’t until later that night when you knocked on his door with tea and a tray of the meal he had skipped did his feature finally soften to look like his normal self. He gave you a lazy smile after you cupped his face and planted a light kiss on his lips, running his hand through your hair. Neither of you said anything.

You had tried multiple times before to convince him to be more careful, to take less risks, but he never listened, and now you finally knew that he never will. 

Eren was impulse, anger, and passion. You either feared it or loved it and you found yourself to be a little bit of both. 

His name was his calling. He was a hunter of dreams. However idealistic and unattainable, he was out there running after it without a care for his own life, but you weren’t able to keep up. His name was his greatest virtue and his greatest undoing. 

 

**Midnight Green**

Your eyes fluttered open sometime past midnight. The room was dark save for the pale moonlight filtering through the curtains. Eren was asleep beside you, the warmth of his skin radiating beneath the sheets. 

You were covered in a thin layer of sweat. The dream that had woken you up was already fading away. You propped yourself up on one elbow, observing the outline of his face as drawn out by the moonlight. 

Somewhere along the numerous expeditions that you were lucky enough to survive through, the clumsy giggly girl died along with her comrades. Tragedies were a force of growth, and people learnt as they grew older that having dreams was a luxury many could not afford. Eren had that luxury, and sometimes, you envied him. You didn’t have a grand dream of avenging humanity, you were struggling simply to exist.

You watched his body rise and fall with each breath, and a little part of you crumbled and fell. You cursed at some distant entity overlooking your existence, for arranging the two of you to meet in this time and place. You could have had something more comparable to a future had the world you were born in been different. Everything you knew was uncertain. 

You touched his face as the sore feeling in your nose flooded and became tears. He shifted his weight and blinked a few times. His voice was raspy and quiet when he asked you what was wrong.

“Nothing,” you replied, lying down and cuddling up against his chest.

“Hold me closer. I’m cold.”


End file.
